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Soapbox: Hillman's ghost haunts the Street

Conrad Astley
21/ 4/2006

Coronation Street

With the mysterious letters from Richard Hillman continuing to find their way through the bars of Gail Platt's cage and into her little bowl of dried-up cereal, the human gerbil decides it's time to take the matter into her own hands.

She discounts the most obvious theory - that Richard has risen from the dead like Jason Voorhees in Friday 13 - and goes blaming poor Eileen.

First Gail pinches her man, then the rodent accuses her of waging a campaign of terror against her Weatherfield neighbours.

She even calls the police, who don't take her seriously, then she becomes convinced people are giving her funny looks on the street. None of this is really surprising.

Next thing she knows, she thinks she can see Richard when she leaves the house. Well, it's been a while since we've had a comedy loony on the Street.

After Jason very sensibly told Sarah that Tracy had had a pretend abortion, suddenly the whole street seems to know. Funny that. Evil Charlie discovers evil Tracy lied about being pregnant in the first place, finds it funny but demands she gives him the money back. Sounds fair enough, the only problem is she blew it on a pair of shoes.

The cockerny monkeys are still squabbling over Mike's will. Anyone would have thought they only loved him for his cash.

Adam reveals his plans to challenge Danny over his fair share, but becomes a bit downhearted when his solicitors tell him it might not be that easy.

And things aren't looking so good for Rosy and Craig, after the poor lass is involved in a car crash. Craig, who's recently lived through his sister bludgeoning his dad to death before killing herself, and his mum getting banged up, could frankly do without this.

EastEnders

Jane is caught between two men - Ian and Grant. Not the greatest choice, but it looks like she's favouring muscle and testosterone over - whatever it is that Ian has. When Ian cancels their romantic evening, she ends up in Grant's office doing a bit more than filing papers.

Emmerdale

We enter Brookside territory with a teenage lesbian snog between Debbie and Jasmine. In Seth's hide! I'm sure he'd have something to say about that.


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