Magazine


A Bit About: Santa Claus

metromagazine
23/12/2005

Christmas in Manchester wouldn't be the same without Santa Claus gazing down from the town hall roof. Just days before Christmas, he took time out of his busy schedule to answer some of our questions.

The first thing I do when I wake up is...

Stretch my legs - well, I would if I had any - then take a look at what's going on beneath me in the German market. I might even cast my eye through the town hall windows to see what's going on in the corridors of power underneath my beard, and figure out which councillors deserve a present this year.

Ideally I would spend every day...

Travelling the world, but unfortunately I've only got one night a year to do that. The rest of the time I'm either stuck up here or - for about 10 months of the year - folded up and packed away in a warehouse, feeling somewhat deflated.

If money was no object I would...

Get a nicer warehouse in an exotic location - perhaps the North Pole.

The greatest gift I have ever received was...

It's not about receiving, it's about giving as far as I'm concerned. One of my favourites is this little toy space shuttle. I give them the same one every Christmas, just with a different year written on it. No-one's noticed yet.

My one piece of advice would be...

Be good all year round, kids. And if you are going to misbehave, don't do it anywhere near the German market, because I will hear about it.

My first job was...

I've always done this, man and boy.

I'm scared of...

The town hall's gargoyles. They've got me a few times and I've still got the scars to prove it. I'm not too fond of high winds either.

I'm excited by...

Helium.

If I could go back in time and do one thing again it would be...

Avoid those gargoyles.

I love...

Good children.

I hate...

Naughty children. Well, hate's a strong word, it's more of a mild dislike really. Well, dislike's a bit strong, but I do have a duty to teach them a lesson by not delivering their presents.

I want...

Decent quality mince pies this year, none of that low-fat rubbish.

You have to read...

My Christmas present list, just to appreciate what I have to do.

Everyone should listen to...

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town, Santa Baby, basically everything with my name in it.

You must watch...

The sky on Christmas Eve. No, not Sky - the sky.

My ultimate ambition would be...

To travel the entire world in one night, delivering presents to children across the planet. Oh, hang on, I do that already don't I?

My biggest inspiration has been...

St Nicholas and The Coca Cola Corporation, difficult to decide which one.

The first time I fell in love...

It's a lonely life up here, and even lonelier at the north pole, and I don't really have time for that sort of thing.

I think God is...

A bloke who looks a bit like me, except without the red. Perhaps he (or is that He?) ripped off my look.

I think the death penalty is...

A bit extreme, if you ask me. Forfeiting Christmas presents is the worst punishment I can think of, call me a woolly liberal if you will.

My epitaph would be...

As far as I know, I'm doing this for the rest of eternity, so I'm not going to have one.

Fur or faux?

It gets pretty chilly up here, and it's even worse in the North Pole, so this fur-lined gear isn't just for appearance sake, you know. As long as it's not reindeer fur, that's all I say.

Mayonnaise or salad cream?

I've found neither of them go particularly well with mince pies and sherry.

Eastenders or Coronation Street?

I don't get to watch much TV up here, apart from occasionally through windows, but I've got to be careful about that.

Daily Mail or Guardian?

I like to keep abreast of the news, to find out who's been bad and good over the year, but I've got people who do that for me.

Harry or William?

Harry's not been a good boy this year. He put an order in for some sort of fancy dress costume, but I'm not sure it'd be appropriate to deliver it.

United or City?

Everyone always assumes I'm a red, but I've got to remain impartial in these matters.

Chav or scally?

I have noticed there's been an increase in orders for gold chains and Burberry baseball caps, but my elves up at the North Pole have had difficulty knocking them up.


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