Magazine


Cilla shows her garish colours

by Rachel Broady
5/ 5/2005

CORONATION STREET Suffering from post-holiday (and possibly post-election) blues, Cruella de Cilla asks Les to propose to her. Like many a woman in a back-to-back house, she's finally realised Tony Blair is taken and so she's making do. But what she really wants is wedding gifts. Later she has a ketchup fight in the chippy as a clear indication that she's proud to wear the colour of Labour. Or, at least, happy to smear it on someone else.

Meanwhile, Sally (who will soon replace her Ian infatuation with one for Charles Kennedy, I'm sure) decides enough is enough and phones Justine to tell her Ian's at it with a woman on his desk. As it turns out he's just going through the books with his accountant and will now tell Kevin a few home truths. It seems the Websters would've benefited from the Lib Dems' plans for "fairer child custody arrangements".

Dev is outraged by Charlie's shoddy workmanship (again). When he complains Charlie does a Prescott and punches the shopkeeper (he probably voted Tory anyway) and Shelley tries to convince Dev not to call the cops. But Charlie's none too pleased about that, giving her the sort of talking to once reserved for the likes of Diane Abbott.

And Candice finally gets a job as a weathergirl - despite chucking up when trying out for Eye in the Sky - but her job will be easy because, of course, it will be forever summer in Weatherfield under a Labour government.

EMMERDALE Katie and Robert are thinking of the future too and buying a plot of land on which to build their home. Then the two-timing mechanic proposes and the fluffy-headed secretary says yes. But Cain knows about his deceit and ruins the celebrations. Well, now Diane's better that family need a bit of misery.

Sadie's shenanigans result in her owning a ten per cent share in King and Sons (more than she had when married to the smallest contributor to the company) and the men are, of course, furious.

EASTENDERS Both Alfie and Danny fancy Little Mo after she has a make-over from Zoe. I'm assuming it involves a personality transplant and lessons on how not to sigh self-consciously like Frank Spencer, but that could be me being cruel. Meanwhile, Pauline - now Zoe would really being doing her a favour! - is still meddling with the affairs of her son and his wife who seems to live in a universe where it is forever Friday 13th.

And, just when you thought Sonia had recovered from the death of Jamie, it seems Dot's having driving lessons. Watch out Martin, love!


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