Magazine


SOAPBOX

by Rachel Broady
23/ 3/2005

CORONATION STREET Shaky Kateh and her miserable mum are invited to dinner at the Websters. They've been through too much to have to tolerate fish fingers and vacuous conversation! Angeloh and Kateh are doing her best Pulp Fiction impersonation and tidying up the fine mess they've gotten into (well, it's more Stan and Laurel than Vincent and Jules). It's almost a relief to see Angeloh arrested!

Meanwhile Ray is taking longer to die than Mark Fowler and the Barlows decide to take him on a final trip to Southport but sadly they don't leave him there with the rest of the oldies...he moves in next to the Rovers. It's heart warming when Traceh's moving chat with her dying dad is just a ruse to see if he's leaving her owt in his will.

Cilloh and Les decide they love sangrioh and paelloh and are never returning to Weatherfield, expecting little Chesneh to pack his stuff in a polka dot hanky on a stick and make his way to Spain. Fiz ain't impressed, but he does share her colouring and would struggle to cope with all that sun.

EMMERDALE Grab a cushion and be ready to hide behind it because things are hotting up between Viv and Paddy. They share a passionate kiss over a blown fuse while Emily is out with a transvestite.

Cain is forced to tell Debbie that he has cash given to him by Sadie to betray her mother, which is ridiculous because he would've spent it all on White Lightning. Debbie says she never wants to see him again but considering he lives outside her house in a caravan it seems unlikely she'll get her wish. Then Zak sets the mobile home on fire.

And scary urchin Victoria gets a karaoke machine for her birthday not a horse so Jack tries to cheer her by singing Delilah. Andy, get that gun!

EASTENDERS: Mr Miller is given a list of to-dos by his teenage daughter while looking after her newborn baby, but he can't read them. It's a touching tale but how his children have grown up not realising their dad can't read is beyond me! Admittedly those children always write their own sick notes for school and don't need shopping lists when shoplifting, but surely they wonder why he doesn't read the telly page.


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